An early morning message from Bunny to Rabbit.

Dear Rabbit,
Sooooooo it’s just now 7 am in CO, which means you’ll be at work in about two hours if my stalking skills are up to par…

I woke up at 6 am after a TOTALLY KICK ASS DREAM that I was at my friends Ska band concert and MY ARTWORK WAS ON THE BANNER behind them on stage. Totally sweet, right?

well NOOOOoo then I had to wake up and start thinking about, guess who, dun da nananananNAAAAA! NAAA!!!!! Antiface, and my wii. for some stupid, period-related hormone-induced reason. Then I made myself think of Slyguy and do that thing (That i KNOW YOU DO TOO) where you hug a pillow and pretend it’s them to fall asleep…. yeah didn’t work. Oh, did I mention that right when I woke up I was breathing out of BOTH MY NOSTRILS just fine….? That is very important to this story. Because when I buried my face in my pillow and tried to picture Slyguy’s dreadlocks, BOOM, stuffed nose. I’m talking instantanious SHIT here Rabbit. It was retarded….then I started sneezing like HIM (The evil red guy/girl thing from Powerpuff Girls) was fucking my nose with his tiny little pink penis that I picture him having. I tried to go outside and smoke a cigarette but that was just bullshit and not enjoyable so I made, yet another fruitless attempt to go to sleep. I must have put my bra on and taken it off four or five times this morning before actually deciding to just leave my apt because me and the casa were not vibeing this morning….

Also, I left my oven on. All night. FAIL

Now it’s 7:55 A.M. and I’m at a coffeeshop, stoned, tired, chugging cold pressed coffee (that tastes like chocolate milk. Crack Chocolate Milk) tryin to, well, wake up I guess. I’ve sent Hedgy like three essay-long-text messages (ok. we need a word for the massivly long texts we send eachother…becuase these are not messages. They’re books OKAY?)

I see red lines occupying this whole message. I’m not fixing SHIT. You know what I’m talking about! Even if i’m not saying anything…. Dude I have not been up this early in a long fucking time. I should probably use this time to go look for a job but you know what Rabbit? I don’t want to.

ohp. poop feeling again.

coffee. poop. cigarettes. These are the days of our lives.

good lord. I’m losing it.

I just realized I REEK of weed. AND I really ENJOY putting random THINGS in all CAPS. Adds awesome emphasis.

adds awesome emphasis to elephants engaging in endorphin exerting energy elapsing eclipses enraged and en garde entering especially elated earthlings.

SEE. I can be cool like rappers too. Ok this is going nowhere quickly sooooo i’m gonna go and hope that I can hold my poop until you come online! MUAH! LOBE YOU RABBIT!



Dear  Bunny,

I WANT COLD PRESSED COFFEE!!!!! That sounds expensively fancy and like it SHOULD taste better than regular coffee, and even if it doesn’t, you fucking pretend it does because of what the fuck it sounds like. This is a fantastic internet-book from you. I am going to respond as a script writer:

Rabbit (To Bunny, with one eyebrow raised, inhaling slowly on a cigarette): I do know what you mean about the pillow thing babes (I’ll be calling you babes in this, picture me as a FINE ASS<—–[I do the cap emphasis too,] lesbian, and I am wearing a pencil skirt, 6 in heels, and a tight corset with a jacket over it. commence…) We all do it. It gives us a false sense of security. False because it hasn’t happened yet, but we believe it could happen because a. we want it, we want it so fucking bad babes, and b. there’s enough there to lead us to believe that if they were there beside us, they would want us to be hanging all over them like a sloth in a tree.

Bunny (To Rabbit, scratching her head, staring over her shoulder across the roof tops): I don’t know, it’s just like…..I don’t know.

Rabbit (To Bunny, flicking her cigarette over the balcony’s edge): Shhhhh, babes, don’t talk anymore. It’s been long enough. Let’s DO this.


I could do this all day, but I’ve already been at work for 20 mins and not started anything to do with work outside of clocking in.

The nose thing is nuts, NUTS. Only because I can’t even remember the last time I could breathe out of both of my nostrils. It must mean something significant. What does it mean? Antiface is a fucking doucher, I wish you didn’t feel so upset in that whole situation. It makes me sad =( Seriously, it does. I just made a smiley face. FUCK. Did I tell you I had a dream I was living with SpermDoner the other night, and he was trying to kill me? Yeah. Awesome. Psyyyyyyyyyych!


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